True Story

There is a lot of false information floating around as to who GD really is. Some say he's a johnny-come-lately to the comic scene, eager to get his foot in the door and make a name for himself. Others believe he's a government conspirator, brainwashing the masses with secret messages hidden in brightly-colored pornography. While these are valid assumptions, they are wrong.

GD is actually a cyborg ninja from the year 3017, sent back in time to warn the people living in the year 2002 that the end of the physical universe as they know it is approaching, to be replaced with a cheap, foreign-made facsimile produced through years of secret child labor. Unfortunately for humanity, the solution to this impending disaster was lost in a memory failure during his travel through 1015 years of mediocrity.

Unlike other cyborg ninjas, which can operate for several hundred years without recharging (thanks to the advent of nuclear batteries), GD requires constant audio-visual sensory input in order to remain conscious. Whether this was a manufacturing error or some sort of perverse practical joke concocted by bored assembly-workers remains up in the air. GD discovered that by constantly drawing "comics" and listening to "music", he could effectively counteract his tragic disability. In what is described as a triumph in the field of artificial intelligence, GD has developed a fascination with the mammary glands of the human female body, and is well on his way to becoming the first cyborg ninja to receive a Nobel Prize for his breakthroughs in the philosophy of human sexuality.

Figure 1-A shows GD in combat mode. Do not engage GD while he is in this state, as the consequences could prove fatal. His visual sensors are based on movement.